Insecurities
by behind-a-rose
Summary: Just a series of short drabble style fics about various characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** Hey! Welcome to my first attempt at writing this could be disastrous but ah well lets give it a try! Just want to preface this by saying I've never done anything like this but thought it would be fun (we'll see haha), so this fic is basically my way of getting started, I chose this title cause, well, who doesn't have insecurities? I figured why not try and apply it to some bladers – this will mostly included the obvious ones and each will get a short chapter to themselves. I'm going to be realistic and say that I can't cover every character just whoever I think I can apply the title to (I might even try different headings in the future depending on how much free time I have).

So this first one is going to be Kai cause I have had some headcanons for a while now so why not J. Also these are set during the in between bits of V-force and G-rev and perhaps post G-rev.

 **Disclaimer:** the rights of Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki.

Insecure was never exactly a word Kai would have associated himself. Prideful? Yes. Sure of his intentions? Yes. Insecure? What exactly did he have to be insecure about? Sure, his formative years had been taken away quite callously away by those who should have had his best interests at heart, it happened, it was in the past and of course he could have sat everyday thinking about it and wishing things were different. He didn't ask for it, Tala, Bryan, Sergei and Ivan, they certainly didn't ask for things to have gone the way they had but like them Kai decided the only option left was to move on and not dwell on the past, he unknowingly took a page out of Tyson's book and opted to make the best of his future.

Still we all have those little insecurities that bite away at us and Kai himself knew he was no exception to this. So this brings us the current state we see the former Bladebreaker in. Sitting and staring aimlessly at the group of individuals before him in the dojo's backyard with varying forms of 'water sports', if that's what Tyson, Max and Daichi were calling slipping, screaming and shouting. He cast his eyes over to Rei, the Chinese blader opted for sitting on the sidelines. It was a gloriously and annoyingly hot day for the Pheonix blader he loved the heat but this was borderline sickening. All the boys had chose to forgo wearing shirts, even the modest Rei sat in a pair of swim trunks as did the rest, except Kai. Kai decided the most socially acceptable way of being cool but still covered was a t-shirt and shorts.

"You are officially insane" Tyson commented to Kai as he walked past the moody blader to the kitchen to get his sixth glass of orange juice that day.

"I don't see how Tyson I've barely moved all morning what could I possibly have done to warrant the insanity today?" Kai threw back sarcastically, not in the mood to be riled up by the younger teen.

"You have to be insane to be sitting there WITH a shirt on, come on Kai are you afraid that I have a better six-pack? Well at least you don't have your scarf on I suppose that makes it better"

"Tyson I'm just saving you from embarrassment by leaving it on" and with that the older teen got up and disappeared inside.

Kai walked down the hallway of the dojo and decided he could at least cool off with a shower. He desperately wanted to be sitting in the cool with no shirt on, not that he would tell Tyson that. Stripping the White material off he stood in front of the mirror assured himself that he would in fact put Tyson to shame with his perfect physique. He was content enough with his body and didn't see that he needed to prove that to anyone but at the same time it wouldn't be a major factor in joining the others. Rather than ponder on that Kai turned awkwardly in the mirror to get a better view of his back and grimaced when he saw the litany of scars that marred his back. "Yeah that's why" he thought and cast his mind back to the darker Abbey days. Each scar held a memory, some significantly darker than the others, some from failure (in Boris' eyes), some from training – they all varied. He realised that they were probably his biggest insecurity. Kai accepted that as a team they all had their scars to bare, especially considering the battles they had been through, Hell he even realised that he was somewhat jealous of Rei being able to sit a flaunt those he had received from his match with Bryan all those years ago.

But then again why would Rei be afraid of showing them, they all knew how they happened, Kai was more unhappy about the fact that if he went out there, scars blazing he would undoubtedly be inundated with questions and while he had come to accept his teammates as a mini made-up family and had definitely grown to be more open with them there were still parts of his past he felt were better off not shared.

"You know… there's a cream type thingy my mom used to use of stretch marks…" Max interjected and startled Kai in the process. He visible jumped by the American's remark and inwardly chastised himself for not checking he had locked the door.

"What are you talking about" Kai instantly put up his usual front of 'I don't care' and 'why are you talking to me?' but couldn't deny that he was somewhat intrigued by the thought of what Max had to offer.

"Your scars Kai, I just happened to be walking by and I seen the way you're judging them. If you don't like them why not try and fix them?" Max's always tried to put his friends best intentions forward and Kai was somewhat happier that it had been Max that caught him and not one of the others who surely would have bombarded him with questions.

"It's not that simple Max I don't think there's a 'miracle' cure to get rid of these"

"I know that Kai but would you not be willing to try something? For your own self esteem? Personally I don't care that you have scars but if it would make you feel better surely you'd want to try it?"

He hated to admit that Max had a point but nonetheless he shrugged of the teen's kid suggestion with a "yeah ill think about it" and continued about his business, locked the door and had his shower.

The next day Kai decided to take the advice of the blond and found himself rather awkwardly browsing the local pharmacy shelves cursing under his breath that the cream Max suggested would have to be in the 'feminine and maternal care' section.

"So you took my advice! I have to say im flattered that the mighty Kai actually listened to me!" Max exclaimed a little to loudly and cheerfully for the Phoenix wielder's liking.

"A word of this to anyone and you die" with that Kai made his way on about his business, secretly thankful for someone to have helped him, it was these types of thought and care from his teammates that he didn't despise.

Sooo that's it! I was surprised that I was able to ramble on for longer than 200 words. If you liked it or anything please leave a message or reply of any kind I'm happy to hear feedback and stuff. Next up will probably be Hilary but I don't know when exactly, hopefully some time soon!

Thanks for reading anyway!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note:** Hey just want to thank the guest review! I was really nervous about getting a review but you were lovely so thank you very much! The next chapter will probably be a Max one I'd like to see were I could go with his character haha.

This chapter will be focused on Hilary and taking a similar angle as the one before, it's set around the start of G-Rev when Rei, Max and Kai go their separate ways and just before they would initially travel to New York.

 **Disclaimer:** the rights of Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki

Hilary had a love/hate relationship with airports, she hated the mass crowds toppling one another; frantically searching for their check in desk, she hated the intervals of long queues to the bathrooms, overall she hated how Tyson and Daichi were still perfectly capable of getting on her last nerve – even at the ungodly hour they were there at. She loved the buzz of travelling however, the excitement of visiting somewhere new and just doing stereotypically touristy things. And she had decided that the dynamic duo were not going to ruin it for her, besides they were slowly pissing Hiro off too and he would surely shut them up with the treat of no down time when they arrived.

She therefore opted for dragging Kenny along to the array of duty free shops and many little coffee shops to avoid the pair, not that the teen genius had much to say in the matter but Hilary's brilliant suggestion of free wifi had done the trick and he had to admit he was enjoying her quiet company at this hour of the morning. He couldn't help but notice this as a concern however, Hilary was always the upbeat, perky one in the mornings and she would often be found conversing with whoever wanted to listen when it was one-on-one so, thinking that maybe she was just as nervous about what lay ahead (including the 13 hour flight that was making his stomach flip). She had seriously spent the last 10 minutes stirring her cappuccino with a plastic spoon and it was

"What's the matter Hils? You've been stirring that last drop of coffee like it might fill up again if you keep doing that"

She didn't even realise she had the cup in her hand until he pointed that out and slowly she drifted out of her mid comatose state to be met by the inquisitive look the Chief was giving her. "I'm just tired that's all, just thinking…"

Kenny soon realised he had one of two options; one, ask her what she was thinking about and risk another session of her slipping too far into 'girl talk' time with him (he was not getting into that again, he really couldn't contribute to the topic heading of "which foundation matches my skin tone better?" it was slightly outside of his expertise), or two, try and liven the damp spirits of the morning by asking her ideas on a mini-beyblade related talk show- hosted by him with all the tropes of late talk show but with beyblades… "Yeah she's probably not going to buy into that and I don't know any other jokes," he thought wisely and so chose to do the 'nice' thing, regardless of possible topics, and ask her what was bothering her.

"What are you thinking about? I hate to sound like Tyson's Grandpa but it has you in a bit of a funk". Hilary couldn't help but smile at the thought of the old coot back at the dojo and how he would be sorely missed for this tournament.

"It's nothing really, well nothing I think you can help me with. I've just been thinking about all of you guys really, like how I definitely wouldn't be sitting here today if it hadn't of been for all of you."

"Yeah I get what you mean Hils, I always imagine if Tyson was, by some miracle, mechanically minded enough himself I probably wouldn't even be here still."

Hilary gave a small chuckle to the thought of Kenny not being on the team, "They'd all have been so lost without you, I suppose what I'm thinking of is more to do with do I even fit in here? Like you have a purpose on the team Kenny I just feel like I'm the token girl that's allowed to tag along sometimes."

Kenny could sense where this was heading and was frantically trying to think of things to say to make her understand that she's needed just as much as him. "Ehhhh don't think like that Hilary! There's loads of reasons you should be here! Eh just mmm…" Well that was a disaster, Hilary settled him however, "I know what you're probably going to say Chief and its okay, I get what you mean I can get that I can contribute with moral support but I feel like hearing Max and Rei talking about their friends 'Emily' and 'Mariah' that I'm not as much on the team as they are. How did they even come to like blading? I hated it until I could see a bit-beast and if it wasn't for that I probably wouldn't have stayed…"

Kenny really didn't know what to say, he never really considered that Hilary felt isolated for being the only girl in their friendship group. "I guess I'm just worried that these other girls probably wont even give me the time of day cause I don't blade" she added quietly. Where exactly could he take this? She was really the only girl, bar Emily, that he was close to and he knew himself that the other two girls in question could perhaps make her feel even more isolated because they would be able to battle, even if it was just a friendly match. "Hey look I'll be alright Chief there's no need to worry! If I don't fit in with them Ill just hang out with you! See everyone's a winner!" and while she tried to light-heartedly escape the subject the young boy still noticed that this would subconsciously bite away at her for the remainder of the day.

"Flight boarding TYO108 to JFK New York at terminal 3 will be boarding shortly" blared over the airport and alerted the pair to the time "Gahhh we better go and find the others"

By the time the flight touched down in New York the team of five were equally exhausted with Tyson still finding that last ounce of energy to religiously complain every three seconds about how long it was taking their luggage to appear on the carrousel.

"COME ON! Hurry up! I just want my stupid bag so I can go get food! HURRY!" Hilary was finding it increasingly difficult to not attack the 'world champ' and the thought of pushing him onto the carrousel was looking better and funnier. Daichi had meanwhile disappeared off to the toilets cause he said he "wasn't about to throw up or anything". Eventually the bags appeared, Daichi appeared, the world spun once again and it just left them attempting to get to the BBA approved and paid for hotel.

Hilary wanted to waste no time and as soon as she was ready the made it to the door choosing to do some individual sight seeing and maybe even phone her mum just to let her know she arrived safely and was enjoying what New York had to offer before she would inevitably have to join in with team BBA's training regime. After seeing as many sights that she could cram into five hours she glanced at her phone and noted it was 1pm so decided to stop into a dainty looking café not far from their hotel before joining back in with the team.

As she made her way in and found a nice two seated table towards the back of the café she couldn't deny seeing an unmistakeable sports jacket with large bold letters spelling 'PBBA' on the back of one girls chair which then brought her attention to another girl sitting with the ginger haired girl contrasting very brightly with fuchsia hair and Chinese style clothes, not dissimilar to what Rei would usual wear. It then clicked with Hilary that these were the infamous female veterans of blading that she had heard so much about. She found herself at a mental impasse, "Do I approach them? No they'll think I'm some crazed fangirl. Do I ignore them and then see them later and they'll probably think I'm as standoffish as Kai?" Hilary was torn she knew in herself that she was insecure when it came to some friendships, particularly female friendships as the few ones that she had from school made for a poor track record – she just desperately wanted to fit in without them seeing her as the 'bossy bitch' many of her female classmates had labelled her – Hell, more recently the majority of them were jealous of her for being so close to the team of bladers.

Indecisively she chose to sit not too far from them and maybe pick up on their conversation or something, she thought. What she didn't expect to pick up on was Emily whispering over _"is that not the girl that Kenny knows?"_ Mariah couldn't help but stare dumbfounded at the supposedly grade A genius, _"and HOW exactly would I know that?"_ Emily mentally kicked herself for asking that knowing well that the Chinese girl has had no contact outside the village. "Ahh leave me alone we had 5am training this morning to train my brain hasn't switched on properly" Emily retorted.

Hilary found herself laughing lightly at the two bickering; she didn't expect Mariah to so brazenly ask if she was who Emily thought she was, "Well are you?" Mariah asked again not realising she had caught Hilary off guard. "Yeah that's me" she answered sheepishly, "Well do you want to sit over here? Come on there's few enough girls in blading don't let us scare you off as well!"

Of all the things Hilary expected to happen in relation to meeting the other girls, befriending them right off the bat and chatting away to them for 2 hours in a café was not that. For the second time in her life she felt part of a group that actually wanted her, she would definitely enjoy this years tournament regardless of who wins.

That's that! Again feel free to comment!


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Hey! I would like to thank ivipoe for leaving a review on the last chapter and basically anyone sticking around to read it lol

This will probably be a shorter chapter and it's a Max focused one so hopefully I can do him some justice. I actually feel like I relate best to this character but he's one I've never given much thought to but I'm doing it now! Starting to love his character more haha. Anyway this is based post G-Rev probably not too long after just shortly after the fall of BEGA.

Disclaimer: the rights of Beyblade belong to Takao Aoki

Max couldn't hide the fact that out of his friend group he was probably the least sure of himself. That's not to say, however, that he was a mess that constantly needed reassurance in every aspect of his life, he could admit that he liked the way he dresses; while not to everyone's taste he loved the way orange highlighted his blond hair and brought out the blue in his eyes and even the fact he could wear it better than most. He felt happy about his family life and again while it was not to everyone's desire to have to divide their attention across two parents that were essentially split across the world, he enjoyed the sense of maturity he had gained from this. Max was more capable now of performing adult chores and organising himself better than most and while most would think he surely is lacking parental love he couldn't deny that both his parents loved him.

What did grate away at Max's subconscious was the fact he couldn't brush off the recently growing uncertainty and insecurity he felt in regards to his blading style. Especially given his minor meltdown during the BEGA tournament, he couldn't even hide it from his friends anymore and that small fact pissed him off. He was angry at himself and although his friends had helped him get through it to pull out a much needed draw he hated himself for appearing weak and well, immature.

Being the 'baby' of the four main boys he always felt in the back of his mind he had to prove something to each of them. Thankfully Tyson was always easy going and honestly never paid much attention to Max's down moments so it allowed them to get on and enjoy their friendship and Max would easily say he's had some of his best laughs with Tyson. Kai was a different ball game altogether and so Max just approached him with daily caution and tried to best judge the older teen's mood before saying anything, and well Rei was just Rei. He was the oldest so most like a big bother to everyone but always the most composed.

Max also hated to admit he was somewhat jealous of how mature and calm Rei always seemed, he longed to be able to act like him in the heat of a battle and even after a loss how he could just dust himself off and say "there's always next time".

The team had decided to stay together for about 2 months after the BEGA ordeal to help with reparations and the rebuilding of the small BBA centre, honestly most just hadn't decided what they wanted to do now the championships had seemingly drawn to an end. Rei would even be the first to admit he didn't want to go back home simply cause he didn't know why, it was undoubtedly a confusing and uncertain time for all of them.

They had just finished a training session for kids for the day and were cleaning up the second home under the infamous bridge; with most away home all that was left was Max, Rei and Kai. The world champ would have rather stayed later with them if it hadn't been for both Hilary and Kenny having the cheek to make him go home and study for the test they had the next day.

"I'm going to kill him" Max looked up to the source of the noise to find a disgruntled Kai kneeling down and picking up the destroyed remains of a plastic beydish, annoyingly piece by piece.

"Woah was there a kid good enough to do that damage already?" Max enquired only to laugh at Kai's reply, "No, Tyson tripped and put his fat foot through the stupid thing and didn't bother to clean it up after."

Kai then decided, after painstakingly sweeping the area and making sure it was perfectly cleaned so as not to risk a poor cat or dog running through the debris, that his socialising quota was fulfilled for the day. "I'm out of here, if either of you find anymore crash sites clean them yourselves."

"Thanks we love you too Kai" Max added as the now grumpy teen walked on "Hn…smartass"

"Typical Kai, at least he cleaned up that part I don't see anything else that really needs tidied" Rei said, "hey if you don't have to be home urgently do you want to maybe stop off and get food somewhere?" Rei questioned to Max, the idea of a take out seemed more appealing than him going back to Tyson's immediately and no doubt distracting the champion with his cooking.

"Yeah I could go for noodles plus my dad won't be home yet he's away to some supplier to get stock for the shop." Max agreed so the two headed off not too far from the riverside and stopped in a small take away.

Rei decided to start conversation while they waited, as the growing silence was getting uncomfortably awkward. "So how was the group you were training today? They'd have to be better than the 4 I had, they couldn't stop arguing long enough to launch a blade."

"Yeah mine weren't too bad, some were showing real progress! They're all hell bent on attacking stances though… makes it feel like they don't want to listen to me with cause I preach on about defence" Max replied sounding disheartened.

"Hey nothing wrong with defence you've definitely proven that" Rei answered flashing his trademark smile and with his usual upbeat tone. Max couldn't really argue with what Rei was trying to do, he was just being Rei and that meant trying to help everyone – which wasn't really a trait fault on Rei's behalf – Max just wasn't in the mood for a pity pep talk and so nodded in a hope he would drop the topic.

Rei on the other hand could sense that his help wasn't really being useful and so in the spirit of things went on the offense, "Well what's eating at you then? You've been sulking these past couple of days, did someone say something to you?"

Getting defence Max began, "What?! No! honestly its nothing! Probably just the change in the weather haha!" He knew he couldn't argue with Rei because the former White Tiger had learnt a lot in the past months in dealing with upset teammates.

"Please Max I had my fill of Lee keeping things from me and you all seen how that worked out."

"Honestly Rei? I just feel like it's getting harder for me to justify being on the team and the way things are going I'm not sure if I want to blade for another year"

"Max if it makes you feel any better we're all feeling the same way. I don't know if I can take another year of it but I can say I am thankful for all that blading has brought me, trust me if I hadn't have been any good at it I would probably just be working at home – my family are farmers Max do you know how exciting gathering crops by hand is? At least I have an opportunity to do something more than what my dad does and I'm sure your dad would be telling you the same thing."

After what felt like eternity their food was ready and they grabbed the parcels, paid and headed back to Max's to eat. Max chirped up however at Rei's last statement, "I never thought about it like that, I started feeling like I had wasted my time with blading. But I suppose I can use my experiences with it to move on can't I?"

"Of course Max. Seriously don't ever doubt yourself, there's enough people to do that for you, you just have to prove them wrong."


End file.
